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The Connecting church, by Randy Frazee (20001, Zondervan) A summary

• Small groups can be numerically successful, and even multiply, but still not make disciples! Merely being a small group is not enough, though without small groups you cannot experience community. SO what‘s missing?

• Biblical community is the expression of the life of Christ on earth today! Places of effective community have a common purpose, a common place, and common possessions.

• Reality of our society:

We are surrounded by more people than ever before in history

("According to William Beckham (The Second Reformation, Touch, 1995, pg 53) and the U.N. report of The Commission on Global Governance (Our Global Neighborhood, Oxford Press1995, pg 27), there are approximately as many people alive today on planet earth as have ever lived in all human history. IF THAT?S THE CASE, THEN.............

More people are alive on planet Earth on this side of eternity than there are souls on the other side of eternity in heaven and hell combined. Over half of all the human beings that have ever existed since Adam are alive on the planet today. Half of this population is under the age of 18, representing 25% of all human beings since the dawn of time waiting to be drawn into disciple-making relationships." Bill Hodgson)

We can travel more easily than any people in history

We have more money and options available for entertainment than ever before

We are more surrounded by people than ever before: 80% of Australians live in the 5 major cities (?), with 90% living in urban areas… (?)

Yet we are ranked among the loneliest people in the world. (Gallup on America)

SUICIDE – THE DEATH OF THE AUSSIE BLOKE (source: Australian Men's Network +61+2+95212124)

In this country every year 2683 people take their life. 2150 of them are male. In a national perspective:

Men who die of prostate cancer annually: 2500 Women who die of breast cancer annually: 2458

Men dying of lung cancer annually: 5424 Women who die of lung cancer annually: 2038

People who die in car accidents annually: 1,731 People who are murdered annually: 307

Suicide is the leading external cause of death amongst men. It is the second leading cause of death between young men (15-24). Suicide in men between the ages of 25-44 is 80% higher than women of the same age.

They say that for every completed suicide, anywhere between 20 and 100 attempts were made. That means that this year between 43 000 and 215 000 men will attempt to commit suicide, of which 2150 will complete it. The majority of these men will be between 25 and 44 years of age or over the age of 55.

More Australians kill themselves than in any other nation of the world. Why? Why do Australian men see ending their life as the only answer left to them? How have we gone from being known as the ‘Lucky Country", to having the highest suicide rate of any nation in the western world.

From my observations from over 14 years of working directly with people and over 10 years involvement, working within men’s organisations in one way or another…

The emotional pain experienced by the suicidal person extends from one basic inadequacy; they are unable to fulfil their essential needs. The essential need of any human being, as defined by William Glasser, is the need to love and be loved and the need to feel that we are worthwhile to ourselves and to others.

When a person becomes overwhelmed with the sense of pain that results from these emotional needs not being met, the feelings of isolation, alienation, helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness, anxiety, stress, despair, rejection and failure drive them to a place of trying to 'escape'.

The US based community organisation, The Fatherhood Project states that 63% of suicides are from fatherless homes. They have some other very concerning figures.... 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home, 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centres come from fatherless homes.

Of Australia's 4.6 million children aged under 18, 1.1 million live with only one of their natural parents. In 1997, 96% of children age 0-4 years, whose parents had separated lived with their mother. 89% of children aged 5-11 and 82% of children aged 12-17.

From the ages of 4 to 14, a boy needs to be affirmed as a young man. When a child is raised without a father or with a disengaged or destructive father, they lose their sense of security, identity, acceptance and authority, or worst still these things become destroyed or perverted.

Between 72% and 78% of this generation in Australia, has been directly or indirectly affected by fatherlessness due to a number of factors, a key way being the break down of the family unit. In essence we have a generation of boys, raised by women, who don’t know what it is to be a man. How to act, live and love like a man should. We have a generation who have lost their way.

When a young man loses a father from his life through death, divorce, detachment or destructive behaviour, he loses the one person who can positively model for him manhood, marriage and maturity. He loses his sense of orientation in the world. He loses the positive model for a loving and committed long-term relationship. He loses the early development environment that gives him his sense of security, identity and acceptance that is supposed to be a foundation for him for a life-time.

The answer lies with the men of our nation. Average blokes, the 98%, who have to make the tough call and the long term decision to love and nurture their children, not just have them. It will take a group of men who will make a decision and take responsibility not just for their own sakes, but for the sake of their grand-children and the world that their grand-children shall inherit.

We just need one generation of men to stand up and take responsibility for what they may have gone without in their own lives. One generation, that’s all. We just need one generation – 25 years, that’s all. There is no easy fix for a complicated problem. You don’t throw money at it. You can’t fund fathering. You don’t form a committee; it takes one man to raise one family; not a group consensus.

• Most (?) people’s experience of life in our society is laced with loneliness: they don’t know their neighbours other than a wave or ‘hello’, they work too long to enjoy the evening or spend meaningful time with their own family, if they have one. Spouses don’t have the energy or time to connect meaningfully, and the television, a non-energetic mind-number, tends to dominate their lives. Weekends are filled with sports and activities, and church, for some. The few hours available for spending time with friends or family are usually not-well spent because they were too exhausted during the week to organise something (we don’t ‘drop in’ well in our society!). So we spend our time in front of our entertainment systems (either as a family, or in our own room with our own TV set!) or in the ‘privacy’ of our backyard with our 6 foot fences protecting us (from what?). Occasional outings with another family or unit are so inconsistent, that fears and stresses and hopes and dreams remain unshared… But perhaps next weekend will be different!? (and we’ve been saying that for years!).

Church, for about 7% of our population, is sometimes uplifting, and affords us a polite cup of tea after the service with the people in our small group or Bible study group. Small group is potentially a place for community, but most people are so exhausted from work and family responsibilities to get there every fortnight, and the group members spend little or no time together outside the group meetings. We may even consider our small group to be our closest group of friends, but somehow, there must be more!?!

For the single parent, this experience is multiplied, and for the single adult, while the time for entertainment and socialising is increased, many more hours are often spent alone at home in front of a more elaborate entertainment system. (p.24-30)

(Australians) are desperate for a place to belong: a place of community; of genuine koinonia (spiritual fellowship). Community isn’t a luxury for the lucky ones, but a necessity for all if we are to experience what God intends.

The problem?

• Too many worlds, with their sets of relationships, to manage for any meaningful connection. (family, work, sport, leisure, kids school/sport/playgroup, church, extended family, neighbours etc). Motion without meaning. (p.34)

"In order to extract a deeper sense of belonging, we must consolidate our worlds into one… relieve the stress of managing too many circles of relationships and move towards one main circle… Simplify our lifestyles in such a way that we concentrate more energy into a circle of relationships that produces a genuine belonging… we can go deeper with less to manage, and we must find a way to do this." (p. 35)

• The church ought to be the one ‘institution’ that has at it’s heart the function of community as part of it’s strategy to achieve its mission. Let us not give up meeting together… (as most are in the habit of doing!) but let us encourage one another… (Heb 10:25) (p.35)

"The first Christians understood that a decision to follow Christ also included a decision to make the church the hub of their world, even when it required the abandonment of existing social structures." (p. 36)

The solution

1) Connect to a common purpose

Individualism rules our society: my rights, my career, my world view, my self! Don’t trust, don’t take responsibility for anyone else… (p. 42, 43). Individualism erodes community (p. 44).

Because we’ve never experienced an alternative, we can’t imagine a community based on common values and purposes. We don’t even see the problems of individualism!

Today’s church is a collection of individuals, not a community. We don’t even recognise how unrealistic our call to commitment to the church is, given the lifestyle advocated by our individualistic culture. (p.45)

Deep down, people want community, but don’t know how to achieve it (p. 46). Eg. Big brother, Friends, Seinfeld

Small groups don’t work if they’re just another form of individualism, but set in a group, ‘providing occasions for individuals to focus on themselves in the presence of others’ (p. 46)

The unspoken rules of small groups: ‘come if you have time. Talk if you feel like it. Respect everyone;s opinion. Never criticise. Leave quietly if you become dissatisfied.’ Because of their ‘episodic nature’, they fail to replicate the sense of belonging we’ve lost and we need. (p. 47).

While small groups are an improvement over the status quo (church services where people sit in rows looking at the back of other people’s heads!), most small group members don’t enter the group with a common set of beliefs or purposes: they have their own, and we celebrate each individuals right to hold whatever view they think is right and best for them! If a group of people doesn’t share any common beliefs or purposes, then the highest virtue must be to tolerate each person’s beliefs and behaviour. In that way, we are just like the culture around us. Yet Christ calls us to apply Scripture to practical issues of life: that is central to living as a follower of Jesus. (p. 48,49)

Does the Christian faith offer a basic set of beliefs, values, practices and virtues that are absolutely true and essential for a constructive and fruitful life? Yes! (2 peter 1:3-11) (p. 50)

"By the middle of this (20th) century, [the church] had lost any recognised, reasonable, theologically and psychologically sound approach to spiritual growth, to really becoming like Christ" (p. 53). The alternative to the contemporary tolerance that asks us to lay aside basic truths in our relationships with others is to do as Jesus did: to deal with others in grace and truth. To ‘speak the truth in love’ (P. 54)

We must have a common purpose: come together around shared beliefs and values.

5 characteristics of community around a common purpose: (NB> ALL are counter cultural)

1) Authority – where someone leads! Real accountability (which calls for appropriate use of authority), not just disclosure of struggles and decisions (without the invitation to challenge the person’s choices, or hold them accountable to an objective standard). (p. 57)

2) Common creed – shared understanding of beliefs and practices that guide the community. The last fifty years, the common creed has almost disappeared from many of our churches. (p. 60). Every effective place of community has a common creed.

3) Traditions – to perpetuate the purpose and common creed, and pass them on to the people of the community (especially the children). A symbol, festival, any activity that reinforces the beliefs, values, practices, virtues and purposes of a community. Eg. Israel: recount God’s faithfulness, and instruct in the law. (p. 61)

4) Standards – guidelines defining what is expected of the people of the community. Individualism resists this. (63)

5) Common mission – that brings the community together. Larger than any one person. (p. 64)

The common purposes of Christian Community

• Acts 2 and Acts 4: All the believers were together and had everything in common! "All the believers were one in heart and mind" (Acts 4:32). To be called a Christian community, you must embrace a common belief and purpose built on the teachings of Jesus and the apostles. (Eph 4:4-6). Develop shared experiences in support of a common cause. (p. 64,65)

C.S. Lewis: ‘The church exists for no other purpose but to draw [people] into Christ, to make them little Christs. If they are not doing that, all the cathedrals, clergy, missions, sermons, even the Bible itself, are simply a waste of time.’ Jesus’ Great Commission – to make disciples who obey all His teachings. (p. 66)

Central beliefs include communion with God and communion with people through spiritual disciplines and Biblical practices. (p. 67), and spiritual formation of the character of Christ in us (fruit of the Spirit).

"What is our plan for teaching our people to obey everything Christ has commanded" (p. 69)

Ch 5. Rediscovering Biblical purpose

Jesus: "‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’" Luke 10:27 > individualism does neither! (p. 72)

Common beliefs, practices and virtues that have to do with loving God and living others?

BELIEFS (know)

Don’t assume people know the story or truths of God. Our goal, then, is the renewing of our minds. (77)

PRACTICES (do)

What if we were all committed to practising these disciplines in increasing measure as we fellowshipped together, and asked to be held mutually accountable to ‘practice’ the Christian faith?! (p. 79)

VIRTUES (be)

Purposes of Biblical Community

Focus internally on helping each other within the community to grow in their love for God and for neighbour. Externally, the gathering of disciples would work together to love others outside of the group, as Christ would.

Covenant? (7 functions of Biblical community)

Spiritual formation
Evangelism
Reproduction
Volunteeerism
International Missions
Care
Extending compassion

These aren’t departments in a church that people pick… they are a singular relational gathering committed to embrace together all of the seven functions! (p. 82,83) Each activity will call on different people to exercise different gifts within the group. (Each part doing its work). They’ll know we are Christians by our love – when do they see it? ‘Christian community is the final apologetic’ (p. 84,85)

Ch. 6 - Implementing a common purpose

How does a church measure its success? That is its real sense of mission.

Most churches measure the ABC’s (attendance, buildings and cash)

We assume that is people are assimilated into the life (activities?) of the church, they are growing in Christ! (p. 88)

You can have 100% participation in small groups, but it doesn’t mean people are becoming more like Christ.

Defining a disciple

1. Decide the central mission of the church is to develop disciples. Promote this everywhere in your church! (p. 89)

2. Define the outcome of a disciple (love God, love neighbour) and be fully devoted to developing church members into fully devoted disciples.

3. Helpful to develop creedal, or affirmation, statements, & identify key Scriptures, to accompany this definition. (91)

Intentional levels of community

Vehicles/strategies you’ll use to build the aspects of your disciple profile into the lives of the people in your church.

Biblical community cannot be limited to the small group experience alone. Must extend to the full experience of life together in the body of Christ. Every aspect of church must be developed in view that we are the community of faith in Christ united in our mission to make disciples. (p. 92,93). NB Vehicle is relationships!

Large group: worship service to inspire people to become fully devoted followers of Christ

(they’ve placed common beliefs/prac’s/virtues into annual calendar (app’x)

Everything in the service connects to the Biblical idea – inspire!

Preaching philosophy? Theological, Biblical and relevant (p. 94-97)

Mid group: Community group to instruct people to become fully devoted followers of Christ

(they find it efficient and effective at mid-size group (5 home groups) and doesn’t reduce the effectiveness of community in small group) (p. 97-99)

Small group: home group to involve people in the seven functions of Biblical community.

Encourage the practice of the Christian life in community. Covenant.

Seeking to deepen the relationships already at the community group level.

Goals? Interdependence in assisting growth in Christ-likeness, and to reach out to others outside the group together. (p. 99-100)

NB Decentralised approach to church. Stretches the body and it’s gifts, produces more ownership, accomplishes more and achieves community! Therefore, organise people around relationships, and then allow the functional purposes to flow from those relationships. (p. 100, 101)

1 person Individual to be introspective about his or her personal growth as a disciple

In the context of safe, loving, mutually accountable community.

Focus on one or a few core beliefs, practices, virtues…> resourced!

NB Children and youth: same process, but designed (content and application) around their development age.

Separate large and mid-size gatherings, but join in home groups with adults – part of community! (p. 103-105)

Feedback loops and planning?

Christian life profile and seven functions of Biblical community are the measure.

2) Connect to a common place

A modern day prison – suburbia led to the development of our culture of isolation – the second major obstacle (1st was individualism) to community. Did away with the village feel of pre-1950’s suburban design. Residences, retail stores and workplaces were within walking distances of each other. Individualised vehicles were limited. Practical and relational needs were met. Housing density promoted community.

In the suburbs, you have much private space, and subsequently, people never see each other! Privacy breeds fear and isolation.

We only read about our neighborhood crime figures! Because we don’t know our neighborhood, we need to protect ourselves and our families from ‘them’! (p. 111, 112)

The suburban life is ‘socially devastating and spiritually degrading’ (p. 113)

Solitary Confinement… to our homes, with our treadmills (instead of walking); doors locked and fences up high, so our kids can play in ‘safety’; buying food, petrol, banking etc. in malls or automated/net services. ‘Surrounded by a multitude of people but they know no one’. Annual venture to an amusement park that looks like villages, but you know no one, standing in lines next to uncomfortably close people you know nothing about. We work miles from home, and the transit lanes on the freeway are nearly empty. (p. 114-116)

Tragically, the church experience for most is no different. Search for satisfaction and connection! (p. 116, 117)

Ch 8: Finding a common place

5 characteristics of community around a common place

1. Spontaneity – In places of effective community, most gatherings are unplanned and spontaneous. (p. 120)

eg UNOH – live and walk within suburb.

Contrast to old-fashioned neighborhoods! (p. 121)

Jesus experienced spontaneity with his 12 - they were together! (122)

Seinfeld & Friends: spontaneous group of friends who walk in and out of each other’s lives daily! We need that! Bu small groups tend to require everything to be planned and unspontaneous. (123) Common place help spontaneity!

2. Availability – being available to each other is more important than the things that keep us busily going nowhere. We long for a true friend to call or drop by, but we understand, because everyone’s so busy! (p. 125)

a) This isn’t pleasing to God: Jesus’ teaching on your neighbour – even the Samaritans!

b) Contractual friendships don’t work! We’re not really available for each other. (p. 125,126)

> Free up more time to be available for community

3. Frequency – time together! Acts 2: "every day they continued to meet together" (p. 127)

Weekly or fortnightly meetings cannot create the results of true community. (p. 128)

The world we’ve created for ourselves pulls us apart from daily interaction, making us incredibly lonely. (128-129)

Unprecedented number of counsellors. Amazing stats of reduced time with neighbours. (p. 129)

‘Body life is 24/7, and embraces the full spectrum of our activities.’ Stop pretending we’re doing that! (p. 130)

4. Common meals – eating together. ‘They broke bread in their homes and ate together…" Acts 2… Mealtimes can be consecrated times of community. Most people struggle to share meals with their families, let alone with community of believers regularly. (130-131)

5. Geography – drives the previous four! In all places of effective community, people live in close proximity. This enable proximity and frequency and availability and meals… (p. 132- 134)

> question is: how much do we want community? It will take major restructuring and adjustment, and is counter cultural…

Rediscovering neighborhood

Simplifying the many disconnected world we try to manage into one hub, built around Christian relationships within a neighborhood. (p. 137)

Circle of friends, vs. line of friends who don’t connect. (Jesus with 12) "Life together" (p. 138)

Reinvent suburbia? Achieve community in the suburbs! Pioneer an ancient idea for a new day! (pioneers are criticised and misunderstood!) (p. 140)

Reinvent suburbia. How? (p. 140 – 148)

Cut down commuting – live near work!

Live off a single income – leave time open in the evenings for people and community – protect time!

Choose stability – stay put in one neighborhood long enough to build relationships. Longevity

Set geographic boundaries – think and act local: be a local! Place of concentration– shop, leisure, work etc.

Identify a core – a core group of believers. Pray and seek out 2 or 3 families.

Free up your schedule – say no to things that splinter your life unnecessarily, even church commitments.

Spend time together! TIME!

Agree to a common purpose – Biblical. Written covenant?

Play in the front yard together – relax out front, not back.

Orient yourselves to the rules of being a good neighbour – take care of your property, visit neighbours spontaneously, borrow stuff from neighbours (return clean!), use common sense, golden rule them!

Find a purpose to bring all the neighbours together – eg block party. Unite the neighbours

Rediscover the Sabbath – don’t work – worship, rest, enjoy people

Examples of those who are doing it – p. 149 – 156)

Implementing a common place

Neighborhood = a collection of houses that people can easily get to without the use of an automobile"… pedestrian scale neighborhood. (every 10 minutes of commuting reduces social capital by 10%!) (p. 160)

From affinity to neighborhood

Affinity groups (socio-economic gathering: eg young marrieds, youth) are initially more comfortable and appealing, but don’t create true community if they are still geographically scattered. (eg. Of shifting from life-stage group to neighborhood based community) (p. 161-162)

Structure? Zone pastor > Community group volunteer shepherds (5 home groups) > home groups

Reproduction through apprenticing leaders at all ‘levels’… staffing as it grows (164-170)

Reinvent church – (p. 170f)

Movement? If 16% of a defined constituency adopts a new way of doing things, it creates a movement. (171)

3) Connect to common possessions

Problem of consumerism – consumption! The individual is sovereign! Kills community.

Rights vs. responsibility to neighbour.

Consumerism vs. the golden rule.

Cannot serve both God and money (Matt 6:24) (p. 175-176)

Consumerism, individualism and isolation feed each other! (p. 179)

How does consumerism undermine community?

1) We don’t need each other

2) We don’t trust people in our community

3) we sue each other

4)We let the government take care of the needy (p. 180-182)

 

Life stage marketing

Culture of consumerism – needs of the individual. Divided families and communities. What is success? (p. 182-5)

 

Sharing common possessions

Acts 4:32-37… They shared/pooled resources, all belongs to God, the grace of giving (P. 186-188)

Our wallets haven’t been baptised! (p. 188)

Putting Christ at the centre of your life, not money. (p. 189)

Five characteristics of community around common possessions (p. 189 – 202)

Interdependency – choosing to make our resources available to others, using resources to love God and neighbour

Ps 37:4 – delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desire of your heart.

Intergenerational life – Each generation has much to offer the others. Titus 2:1-15. Sub-cultures and sub-groups don‘t last, so neither will communities built around them

Children – in community, we accept responsibility to effectively care for, nurture and train children. Spiritual grandparents, uncles, aunties, cousins, nephews, nieces etc. Include children in small group experiences. Chaotic, but, not optional!

Responsibility – of serving and caring for others. Phil 2:1-5. Loving God and others – koinonia.

Sacrifice – painful and costly responsibility for others. Dig deep into who we are and what we have so that in the end we become depleted for in a significant way for the sake of someone else! (p. 199). A true community is a covenant made in free-willing surrender and sacrifice…’ to do this, you must be in fellowship with God.

Ch 13 – rediscovering interdependence (p. 2034 f) – example of how it could work

Ch 14 – Implementing common possessions

Introducing the values of common possessions into a common place so that a common purpose is achieved:

Decentralised, but purpose-driven… all pursuing the same thing

Decentralised, but supported from the church

Decentralised but centralised praise – sharing the stories in gatherings of the large group/media of the large group.

Implementing the functions of community – examples p. 232–239 (241f has results so far in Frazee’s church)

The mission of the church can’t be accomplished apart from Christian Community. The central obstacle is that all principles of community are counter-cultural! (against the grain of individualism, isolation & consumerism) (p. 241-243

Neighborhood may be the toughest challenge: you probably can achieve a degree of community without it. (p. 244)

Only application of these principles that is guided by God will work! (244)

As you review Frazee’s book..

• Share your experiences that connect with what Frazee says?

• What stands out to you as important in the light of what God has been calling us/you to?

• How do you think God might want you to do about it?

• What if you do? The results might be…

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